Change

This weekend I attended the Hearts at Home national conference in Normal. I wasn't able to do the two day conference like I wanted (boo, school!) but I did get to spend the night, hang out with some GREAT friends, and attend the second day of the conference. Honestly, leaving the conference this year I didn't really feel any sort of change. I learned a lot, got some time away from the kids and really liked two of my breakout sessions but other than that...not much.  The only thing that really caught my attention was a verse from Ezekiel that Candace Cameron Bure quoted during our last main session. "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." I haven't been super open about the spiritual struggles I've had lately and I've been convicted of that. As much as I've tried to rectify it, I've felt literally like God has completely taken out the emotional part of our relationship. I don't hear Him, I pray but He doesn't answer, I don't thirst for the Word and I'm frustrated with some social issues and where the Bible stands on them.

Hearing this verse sparked something in me and I was eager to read the context of the verse when I got home. In fact, I couldn't even wait that long. While I waited for Little Caesar's to make our pizza (I stopped on my way home from the conference for The Husband and me!), I pulled out my bible and started to read Ezekiel. After continuing to read when I got home, I skipped to where the verse is (about 30 chapters later from where I was at the time!!). And then I prayed it. And it felt good. And I felt like things won't always be this way and perhaps God is working on something inside me.

Then Sunday our church talked about God blocking things in our path to lead us back to Him. I'm beginning to think this may be what He's doing in me. I'm a very emotional person, more times than I'd like to admit, emotion guides my actions. While I believe God gave us emotions for a reason and they are a beautiful thing, I'm starting to wonder if He's teaching me how to make godly decisions based upon His word and His character rather than my emotions.

I can't tell you how difficult this is for an emotional person like me! How stark and dry a relationship with God seems when you take the emotion and feeling out of it. But I'm already giving praise to God because I cannot imagine how difficult this adoption will be if I'm going off JUST emotion instead of the Bible. And, I'm scared to say, perhaps He is preparing me for some heartbreak. As much as I want to believe we won't experience this, it is a real possibility. 16% of our agency's planned adoptions fall through. Maybe we will just be waiting a REALLY long time. Maybe our child's birthmother won't be who we dreamed her up to be. I'm not really sure WHY God is doing this work in me but it feels great to finally have an answer to my heart's longing question, "what is going on?!!!"

Next up for the adoption: fingerprints, DCFS application, medical forms and references then on to the home study!

Results

Before we began the adoption process, I was having a really hard time believing that God truly answers prayer. I know, I know. It's something I shouldn't struggle with. But I've had a dry spell where I've felt my prayers almost ignored by God. Then I prayed for Him to provide for us for the adoption. And my, has He. There is still work to be done, that's for sure, but a fundraiser that I thought might make us a couple hundred bucks has now pulled in over $500. I've actually lost track (thank God I have Nicole who is keeping track!!) of how many wreaths have been ordered. And He keeps supplying. We have more orders coming in and one potentially large order pending as well.

God has been teaching me a lot through fundraising so far. Not only to rely on Him, to have patience (I'm still worried about the $19,000 we still need!), but that we cannot be lazy! He has put me to WORK to bring this money in. I can't tell you how many times we have burned our fingers on our hot glue guns (not to mention Nicole's second degree burn!!!), how many rolls of twine have passed through our hands or how many hours we have spent crafting wreaths. As I was making a wreath while the kids were napping one day, I was just trying to meditate on God's character and this just dawned on me. "Child, you and your husband prayed and continue to pray for me to supply the funds for you to bring a child into your home through adoption. And I am. And you are capable of working for it to happen!"

1John 3:18: Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

Bubba is enjoying helping mommy by bringing me twine and loading my glue gun to make "weeths." I am so overjoyed that he is learning that the world is bigger than him. And that to say we love one another is not enough...that we must put our love into action and truth. To not just think about what God desires for our life, but to LIVE what God desires for our life.

My dear friend, Gina has started another fundraiser for us making and selling SUPER cute clutch purses. She has already sold a handfull and continues to work hard to help us provide a home for whichever child God chooses for us. Check out that fundraiser to the right!

Humbled

I am blown away at the response we have received so far for the wreath fundraiser. After we fill all of the orders we will have raised something like $300 already. I had a little chat with God in the car the day that Nicole started this fundraiser for us and it started something like this: "So. God. How are we gonna do this?" A little later, I got a text about this fundraiser and half a week later, this is what has happened. The orders just keep coming in every day. I have posted it everywhere and people I don't even KNOW are ordering specifically to give toward our adoption. I am completely humbled by everyone's generosity of spirit and a little embarrassed that I've doubted God's ability to provide the money we need. We are a long way off from having all of our money but I feel like God is just giving us a taste of His capability to fulfill this need. We are so excited to see what God does and how He provides during this journey. He has already carved it out and already knows who we will bring into our family and how we're going to do it. He is good, all the time.

Another blessing we are so thankful for is both sets of our parents. The Husband and I were able to go away for the weekend to celebrate our FIFTH wedding anniversary thanks to our four parents. My mom and dad took the kids Saturday-Sunday morning and The Husband's parents had them all day Sunday till we picked them up in the evening. We were able to get some relaxation and restoration for our spirits and were able to reflect on where we've come the past five years and where we'll be in five more. We have experienced some heartache over five years but, oh the blessings! A little breakdown on our 5 years of blessings:

2008: Got married














2009: Bought and moved into our new home
















2010: Had Bubba
















2011: Had Sissy




















2012: I began working toward my Master's degree
2013: God-willing, we will bring our third child into our family through adoption!

Praise God for His endless blessings and faithfulness.

Update

My fab friend, Nicole has started another fundraiser for us! She is selling handmade spring wreaths just in time for Easter. Currently there are four designs to choose from. Here is the website on Facebook:

Facebook wreath fundraiser

Prices range from $30-$50 and all the proceeds go toward our adoption!

Holy debt, Batman!

We went through our first consultation yesterday at the adoption agency so the next step is completing our homestudy. The person we are working with calmed a lot of the fears we have about open adoption, support, and risks (I'll blog about these later) but really rubbed some salt in the money wound. Because we would love a child of any race and we are fairly open to physical special needs and birthmother drug use, we were told that we could end up in a situation where the adoption process moves VERY quickly. This isn't the norm and probably will NOT happen but we were told that we need to be prepared financially in case it does happen.

Um, yikes?

So in true Lindsey-fashion, I was up texting with a good friend and researching fundraising options long after The Husband had gone to bed last night. I set up one fundraiser last night through Just Love Coffee. I have a link to it on my Facebook page as well as on the right side of our blog. Basically, you click through our link and it'll take you to our family page on the Just Love Coffee site. From our page you begin shopping and we will earn a fixed amount back from each item you purchase. It's super easy for everyone and it's fair trade, direct trade coffee and products.

My next step is to set up a t-shirt fundraiser. I think I will do this through a website called Chrome Buffalo. Basically, they have 4 t-shirt designs to choose from (in all sizes) and you buy as many as you want! We will let everyone know when the fundraiser opens and it will run for 10 days only. For every shirt purchased through our family page, we will earn $11. Again, super easy. I really like this fundraiser because we don't have to design our own shirts (time-consuming) nor do we have to put any money into it ourselves. I think many times adoptive families will design and buy their own shirts and then try to sell them which can end up LOSING them money if they don't sell all the shirts!

That same sweet friend I mentioned before is going to be helping me make some super cute button bracelets that I'll sell here and on my Facebook page as well. I'll hopefully be starting to sell these within the next week and a half.

I tried to set up an Amazon affiliate link on our blog so we can start earning money when you purchase items on Amazon through our link but apparently if you live in Illinois you cannot do this?? If anyone knows differently please let me know!

I have to give a shout out to my super awesome friend down the street who has been SO supportive and helpful! ALL of my fundraising ideas have come from her :)

More to come...

FUNdraising!!!

So I know it may be a little early to be worrying about fundraising for our adoption, but when you're looking at a big picture of around $25,000...well, you start thinking about it pretty early!

Researching all of our options is not a problem--I love to research this stuff. My biggest issue (and I THINK The Husband's too) is openly asking for financial assistance. We're working from this idea in the back of our heads that it's our family and if we want to add to our family then, financially, it's our issue to work out. It's difficult to break free from that line of thinking. The funny thing is, we were totally happy to contribute financially to friends' adoptions because we truly see it as biblical and something the church needs to take part of and support. But when it comes to us, it's almost embarrassing to say, "Hey, we can't do this............can you help? For me personally, I see myself taking charge of this area of the adoption in the most candy-coated, roundabout way possible because I'm just not comfortable asking for help!! There's this little brat inside of me stomping her foot and saying, "Don't even post this, I can do it mySELF!"

The idea of fundraising for adoption, I think, is kind of new age-y. I mean, when we talked with family members about how much it cost them to adopt 30 years ago, they told us it cost them something like $2,000. Generally now, it IS much less expensive if you foster first and then adopt or adopt a waiting child in foster care (which we looked at). But adopting a newborn from someone you don't know...well, is just much more expensive now. Also, I think fundraising for adoption is accepted by the Christian community because we see taking care of the "orphan" as something God commands us to do.

But it's still out of my comfort zone.

Anyway, here are some ideas I've found so far (and I'm also wondering if the grants I'm finding on the internet are actually worth my while to apply for):

1) Grants
2) Sell tshirts (Adoptionbug.com is what we're looking at because there is no upfront cost to us)
3) Garage/Bake/Jewelry Sale
4) Asking people outright for some dough (not gonna happen with me!)

So...ideas for fundraising are welcomed. Also, I could use some help wading through all the grant stuff. I don't want to waste my time filling out grant applications if they're not worth it. :(

Oh, I also don't want to leave you with nothing fun from my day so:
Bubba didn't nap today. Instead, he pooped on the floor and then REALLY tried hard to clean it up...with lotion, cream, and a cd.

Revamp

There are some new things going on in our life so The Husband and I have decided to revamp our blog to keep our friends and family updated on our growing and transforming family. The biggest two changes are:
1) I am currently in school to get my master's degree in social work. When I am finished my goal is to fight for "the least of these," the kids in the adoption and foster care world. I have my first (unpaid-boo!) internship this summer with a foster care agency. I'm so excited-the agency and people there seem so great, working toward a better life for the kids.
2) We have decided that 2013 is our year to adopt! We are starting the process now! We have our first consultation with our agency this Thursday. We are incredibly excited, determined, and scared. But we are ready.......we think. :). Oh, there's that little matter of it costing more than double what we paid for our car...

A large portion of this blog is going to be dedicated to our process of adopting. We believe that the process of adopting is not just about the child we will be bringing into our home; it is about every member of our family. It is a life change that affects our family as a whole which is why this "revamp" is not to change our blog to be about the adoption only. We would like this blog to be an updated account of what's happening in our family, how God is working in us and how we are just trying our best to be a loving example of God's devotion in this broken world. Also, we cannot accomplish this adoption without the love, support and encouragement of our family and friends. So we want to keep everyone informed!

You will also be hearing a lot about The Husband's adventures as a stay at home dad this summer while I intern and go to school!

And the adventure of our family continues on...