Fun things, new things, hard things, SHOE things!!

There is a lot happening in our home lately. First and most importantly, Halloween was a bust. It rained, so no trick-or-treating happened by our house. We took the kids to the mall for trick-or-treating and it was packed AND out of candy. So what is a family to do? Call it quits and eat chili at a family party! And look cute while doing it ;)

We were contacted last week by our agency about a situation similar to the last few and we are still waiting to hear if the birthmom chose our family. Super excited if she does but we're also not getting our hopes up as much as before...we're just trying to remember that it'll happen when it happens (and hopefully soon!).

We are also running a shoe drive to cover the rest of the adoption costs. We are THIS close to doing this debt-free! We are doing the fundraiser through Cash4Shooz--this company takes useable shoes, sends them overseas, and employs around 85 people at a time in local areas to mend the shoes and resell them in their communities.

They pay us per pound of shoes that we collect but since we are out of state (they operate in California), we have to collect a minimum of 15,000 POUNDS of shoes!!! YIKES!!!! It works out to about 10,000 pairs. We are running the fundraiser through January (longer if needed) and will soon have drop-off points at Minooka Bible Church and Fat Boyz! We would also absolutely love to pick up your dirty, old shoes from your home, too :)

Keep us in your prayers and let us know if we can shoot one up for you, too :)

Rejection

There's not a whole lot to say. We got another call from our agency on Monday about another baby situation. This baby is due in 4 weeks and has drug exposure. From the sound of it, there were not many other families willing to adopt this little sweetie yet to be born. But we were. More than willing. I didn't post anything on the blog because I didn't want to "jinx" it. As it turns out, we found out today that the birth mother chose another family. I don't know why we're finding this time so much harder to take than the last time. The rejection is just starting to stack up a little and it breaks my Mommy heart. I know lots of people who have told me not to get my hopes up, not to get attached, not to dream or think of our family including any other baby until we know for sure that we've been picked. But really, I can't say I know any Mom that is capable of that. Moms are made to jump in with our whole hearts and minds, dreaming and hoping and living in faith. We're meant to give of ourselves without asking for anything (ok, maybe just the occasional scrapbooking weekend) in return. Which also means that Moms are made to have our hearts broken over and over again. This must mean that we're made to be pretty damn strong. And that's what I'm clinging to right now. That I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I was made to be a pretty damn, strong woman. And that when we do finally get chosen, I'll already be there with my whole heart, loving that baby fully, before we were ever his or her parents.

But right now the rejection stings.

The Longest Weekend Ever!

We have been listed on our agency's website for approximately 5 days. Check it out!
Within 12 hours of us being listed the first day...we got a call from our agency. An emergency. A pregnant woman with a sad, sad, story and an even sadder story surrounding the baby, was being induced on Tuesday (like this past Tuesday...like YESTERDAY). Did we want our profile to be included in the set that the agency was giving her to look over? After talking it over, we decided YES! of course we wanted her to consider our family! They overnighted 5 profiles (including ours) to her on Friday and then we waited...and waited...and waited...and started thinking through what accommodations we would need to make if we needed to go get OUR BABY this week.

And then the phone call came on Monday afternoon while I was at a home visit for one of my foster families at my internship. I stepped out to take it because I couldn't go any longer without knowing something. And then the news came flooding out of the other line so quickly I could barely hold on: another family was on the top of her list. We weren't it. This wasn't our baby. And my heart broke even though I had peace about it. Something I've noticed is that, as Christians, we compartmentalize having peace and having raw emotion. Like if we trust God and have peace about a situation, then we can't be heartbroken or sad or angry. I know that we will be matched eventually and I know that God has a plan for us specifically. But I'm still sad that this situation didn't work out. I never expected the ups and downs of adoption to come so quickly. It would've been an amazing story, too. But the one God has written for us is pretty amazing, too. :)

LIVE

Within the week, our adoption profile will be live for women choosing adoption to look at. It'll be on our agency's website and they will also have hard copies to give to interested birthparents who come to the agency in person. This is huge. We're finally here! From here on out...we wait. It could be a day, it could be a year. We don't know what God has in store for us or how long we will have to wait. But we know we've been obedient. We know we've done what He has told us to do.

And we're so close to being able to pay for it all. But we're not quite there yet. We have anywhere between $3000 and $8000 left to raise. We have seen God provide VASTLY already yet we are nervous to see how the rest of it comes. We know God's got this. But we also know that we have to be proactive. We're just asking that if anyone is willing to donate or knows someone who might be willing, please direct them to our blog. You can donate through Paypal on the right side of the page or through a check to us. We know that most, if not all!, of the people reading our blog have already donated time, talents, money, etc. to us. If you guys could just keep us in your prayers that this money would come in some way, some how. We will be forever grateful :)

I will be making some fall and Christmas wreaths to sell soon, hoping that might bring in a little bit more since most people bought wreaths from us around springtime. Keep your eyes open! I also have about 7 clutch purses already made and sitting on my counter for whoever is interested! $20 a piece.

We're in the home stretch. Let's make this happen. Thanks for loving on our family so much with help, support and prayer!

Pressing On

This process has been painfully slow for us. We went to our first consultation at our agency in February and it's now July. And we're still not finished with our home study. BUT...we will finally be completing our home study-tomorrow! We have our last visit in the morning and then we will go in for one more consultation and then we wait to be matched! It feels good to be so close to having our end of things finished. Then we can just wait for God to do His thing. We are feeling good about things!

Me and the Hubster

We also have been offered a $3500 adoption grant to help with our expenses! The money has not been sent yet, though, so we're not posting anything about where we got this grant or that we have received anything yet. But it's there, God is providing. He has provided in amazing, crazy, off-the-wall ways and I am absolutely LOVING experiencing it. I'm for sure an idealist and so, at the beginning of all of this, I was researching all these crazy ideas for saving money for the adoption and The Husband kind of thought it was all quite cute (he's the realist in this relationship--the yin to my yang) but didn't think it would really help. He's been working SO hard so we can save more for the adoption. He's pretty amazing. But it has been so awesome to watch God provide through handmade wreaths and clutches, a Facebook auction and a grant.

We should be done with everything and waiting to be matched in about two weeks. I'm sure that then the roller coaster will only have begun.

Fourth of July

We spent the 4th at home just hanging out as a family. It was really nice. The Husband's parents and brother came over for an early cook-out and the kids played outside. We ventured out to fireworks for the first time with children this year! Fireworks here didn't start till 9:15 pm so we were a little worried how the kids would handle a bedtime about 4 hours later than normal! They. Did. Great!! It was so worth the late bedtime! Bubba kept asking, "How'd THAT happen?!" every time he saw a big firework. Sissy thought they were Tinkerbell.

Bubba also had his first karate class last week! He did SO well! He was very shy and timid because it was his first time but seeing him get the punches down after one try and hearing him say, "Yes, Sir!" "No, Sir!" was so awesome. I see so much potential in that little boy. Here are a few pics from the past week.

The Secret Lives of Parents after Bedtime

I don't know about any other parents of young ones out there but I know that the husband and I sometimes feel like agents in covert ops after bedtime. From 7 PM to 10 PM we let loose and enjoy our time sans-kids. We watch shows that we would never let them watch (Walking Dead, anyone??), we eat food that we try to monitor with them (Fat Boys, Tastee Bite, our town has WAY too many delicious bad-for-you places to eat!), we listen to music with "naughty" words, etc. Sometimes I feel like I hide a big part of me from my kids because it's the adult side of me that they don't see during the day. During the day, I am (or try to be to the best of my ability) fun-loving mommy, pancake cooker, pirate, "bad guy" for Bennett to beat up, referee, boo boo kisser, keeper of the Fruit Loops, hair dresser, world-class singer, chef, maid etc. They don't get to see the adult side of Mommy! Anyone else have this feeling?

On a separate note, working at this foster care agency
has really opened my eyes to the needs of the foster child. My heart breaks on a daily basis for these kiddos. There is so much hurt and abandonment and rejection going on with these kids. I really believe that if the husband and I ever decide to adopt a second time, I will convince him to adopt out of foster care. That process is so difficult for many because most foster children are not legally free for adoption. So you foster children that you want to adopt KNOWING that they may be reunited with their biological family. Which is bittersweet I am sure. Because deep down I'm sure this is what many foster kids want and yet, as adoptive families, we want to "save" these kids...which is not always our place. I'm really seeing many different sides to orphan care through working at this agency and just continuing to do my adoption research and training for our adoption. Orphan care really doesn't just mean adoption.

Foster care is such a HUGE part of it and I think many great families are too afraid to do it because they fear they'll become too attached or they fear the children will have too many "issues." But that's really painting these kids with a broad brush. Yes of course they come with "issues"...kids come into care because of issues at home so of course they're going to bring that stuff with them. But this doesn't mean they're incapable of so much more...of love and attachment, friendship and kinship, desires and talents. As the church I think we need to look at serving more in this way as well as adoption...