The Secret Lives of Parents after Bedtime

I don't know about any other parents of young ones out there but I know that the husband and I sometimes feel like agents in covert ops after bedtime. From 7 PM to 10 PM we let loose and enjoy our time sans-kids. We watch shows that we would never let them watch (Walking Dead, anyone??), we eat food that we try to monitor with them (Fat Boys, Tastee Bite, our town has WAY too many delicious bad-for-you places to eat!), we listen to music with "naughty" words, etc. Sometimes I feel like I hide a big part of me from my kids because it's the adult side of me that they don't see during the day. During the day, I am (or try to be to the best of my ability) fun-loving mommy, pancake cooker, pirate, "bad guy" for Bennett to beat up, referee, boo boo kisser, keeper of the Fruit Loops, hair dresser, world-class singer, chef, maid etc. They don't get to see the adult side of Mommy! Anyone else have this feeling?

On a separate note, working at this foster care agency
has really opened my eyes to the needs of the foster child. My heart breaks on a daily basis for these kiddos. There is so much hurt and abandonment and rejection going on with these kids. I really believe that if the husband and I ever decide to adopt a second time, I will convince him to adopt out of foster care. That process is so difficult for many because most foster children are not legally free for adoption. So you foster children that you want to adopt KNOWING that they may be reunited with their biological family. Which is bittersweet I am sure. Because deep down I'm sure this is what many foster kids want and yet, as adoptive families, we want to "save" these kids...which is not always our place. I'm really seeing many different sides to orphan care through working at this agency and just continuing to do my adoption research and training for our adoption. Orphan care really doesn't just mean adoption.

Foster care is such a HUGE part of it and I think many great families are too afraid to do it because they fear they'll become too attached or they fear the children will have too many "issues." But that's really painting these kids with a broad brush. Yes of course they come with "issues"...kids come into care because of issues at home so of course they're going to bring that stuff with them. But this doesn't mean they're incapable of so much more...of love and attachment, friendship and kinship, desires and talents. As the church I think we need to look at serving more in this way as well as adoption...