There's not a whole lot to say. We got another call from our agency on Monday about another baby situation. This baby is due in 4 weeks and has drug exposure. From the sound of it, there were not many other families willing to adopt this little sweetie yet to be born. But we were. More than willing. I didn't post anything on the blog because I didn't want to "jinx" it. As it turns out, we found out today that the birth mother chose another family. I don't know why we're finding this time so much harder to take than the last time. The rejection is just starting to stack up a little and it breaks my Mommy heart. I know lots of people who have told me not to get my hopes up, not to get attached, not to dream or think of our family including any other baby until we know for sure that we've been picked. But really, I can't say I know any Mom that is capable of that. Moms are made to jump in with our whole hearts and minds, dreaming and hoping and living in faith. We're meant to give of ourselves without asking for anything (ok, maybe just the occasional scrapbooking weekend) in return. Which also means that Moms are made to have our hearts broken over and over again. This must mean that we're made to be pretty damn strong. And that's what I'm clinging to right now. That I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I was made to be a pretty damn, strong woman. And that when we do finally get chosen, I'll already be there with my whole heart, loving that baby fully, before we were ever his or her parents.
But right now the rejection stings.
I love you, friend. You are SUCH a wonderful mom. I know it feels like there's a hole in your family and in your heart, and God is just waiting for YOUR sweet baby to come and fit perfectly in that space. Hold on to your faith, sweet friend. All things in His time. Praying for your whole family, as always.
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