Fourth of July

We spent the 4th at home just hanging out as a family. It was really nice. The Husband's parents and brother came over for an early cook-out and the kids played outside. We ventured out to fireworks for the first time with children this year! Fireworks here didn't start till 9:15 pm so we were a little worried how the kids would handle a bedtime about 4 hours later than normal! They. Did. Great!! It was so worth the late bedtime! Bubba kept asking, "How'd THAT happen?!" every time he saw a big firework. Sissy thought they were Tinkerbell.

Bubba also had his first karate class last week! He did SO well! He was very shy and timid because it was his first time but seeing him get the punches down after one try and hearing him say, "Yes, Sir!" "No, Sir!" was so awesome. I see so much potential in that little boy. Here are a few pics from the past week.

The Secret Lives of Parents after Bedtime

I don't know about any other parents of young ones out there but I know that the husband and I sometimes feel like agents in covert ops after bedtime. From 7 PM to 10 PM we let loose and enjoy our time sans-kids. We watch shows that we would never let them watch (Walking Dead, anyone??), we eat food that we try to monitor with them (Fat Boys, Tastee Bite, our town has WAY too many delicious bad-for-you places to eat!), we listen to music with "naughty" words, etc. Sometimes I feel like I hide a big part of me from my kids because it's the adult side of me that they don't see during the day. During the day, I am (or try to be to the best of my ability) fun-loving mommy, pancake cooker, pirate, "bad guy" for Bennett to beat up, referee, boo boo kisser, keeper of the Fruit Loops, hair dresser, world-class singer, chef, maid etc. They don't get to see the adult side of Mommy! Anyone else have this feeling?

On a separate note, working at this foster care agency
has really opened my eyes to the needs of the foster child. My heart breaks on a daily basis for these kiddos. There is so much hurt and abandonment and rejection going on with these kids. I really believe that if the husband and I ever decide to adopt a second time, I will convince him to adopt out of foster care. That process is so difficult for many because most foster children are not legally free for adoption. So you foster children that you want to adopt KNOWING that they may be reunited with their biological family. Which is bittersweet I am sure. Because deep down I'm sure this is what many foster kids want and yet, as adoptive families, we want to "save" these kids...which is not always our place. I'm really seeing many different sides to orphan care through working at this agency and just continuing to do my adoption research and training for our adoption. Orphan care really doesn't just mean adoption.

Foster care is such a HUGE part of it and I think many great families are too afraid to do it because they fear they'll become too attached or they fear the children will have too many "issues." But that's really painting these kids with a broad brush. Yes of course they come with "issues"...kids come into care because of issues at home so of course they're going to bring that stuff with them. But this doesn't mean they're incapable of so much more...of love and attachment, friendship and kinship, desires and talents. As the church I think we need to look at serving more in this way as well as adoption...

Current Home Study News

We've completed two of our three 3-hour long home study meetings. Our last one is in two weeks and will be at our home. We are so blessed with our social worker as she is a believer so we have been able to be VERY open and vulnerable with her about our motivations for wanting to adopt. We've had to talk through some really tough decisions regarding our openness in our adoption including what limits we're willing to go to to protect our child if he/she is of a different race than us. These are really difficult choices to make because we know that not everybody will be comfortable or accepting of our choice to adopt outside of our race and we know that some of these people may end up being people we know very well. But we've decided not to let the unjust thoughts of others make our decision for us and we will continue pursuing an adoption of a child of any race. We will also accept a child who has many mild to moderate special needs.

Once we're done with our home study, we will write a "Dear Birthmother" letter, submit it to the agency for birthmoms to see, and then WAIT. This is partly a breath of fresh air because everything on our end will be done but I know I am very nervous about how long we will have to wait to be placed and how many failures we'll go through till we're placed with our eventual child. We're really trying to leave this up to God, as He has the final say anyway, but with so many possibilities, it's difficult not to wonder and dream about the "what ifs".

We are doing SO WELL with our fundraising. We are now able to pay our first big placement fee of $4400 as well as about $3500 of the matching fee of $4000. After that, we're really relying on God. Depending on the race of the child, we will have a final payment of between $2600 and $7500 plus our legal fees which will most likely be about $2000 and any birthmother expenses we see fit to pay. We feel like we can see the light at the end of the tunnel but there's still work to be done. We applied for one grant and are waiting to hear about it still. If we get it, it may cover up to $5000 of our expenses which will cover almost everything we have left!!

Keep us in your prayers as we continue to find unique ways to pay for this process that we know the Lord has called us to. And consider ways that you can help take care of the orphan. :)

Raising Kids is Cray Cray!

We took Bubba to the allergist last week at the recommendation of our pediatrician. He's been struggling with pretty bad eczema since he was a baby and he has since developed allergies and possibly asthma. Here's what the allergist suggested (we decided not to do testing at this point because he is pretty sure it's environmental allergies that aggravate his eczema...and he tends to kick doctors when they touch him so testing with needles would probably not be a good idea at this point!):

1) Rip up the carpet in our entire house (we compromised on Bubba's room only)
2) Get rid of the stuffed animal overload in our house
3) Get Bubba on a strict skincare regimen (This includes a slew of mild soap, steroid and non-steroid cream, lotion, allergy medicine etc...)
4) Get Bubba using the neb twice a day to confirm if he's got asthma or not

He promises it will be labor-intensive but worth it. Especially if we don't have to test Bubba for allergies because we narrow it down based on these suggestions. It's been 4 days and we're doing good. I have a hard time remembering to do the skin regimen in the mornings because I usually get him dressed downstairs but his spots are clearing up!! We've been able to narrow grass down as an aggravate because every day that he plays in the grass (if we forget the zyrtec before bed) he wakes up late at night screaming and crying and scratching like crazy. :(

But so far we're getting positive results! And Sissy has started the temper tantrum stage. Oi. We love our kids!!! :)

I'll be starting my internship this week. I'll be doing lots with foster kids, their families and foster families. I'm very very nervous but I've met with the people who work at the agency a few times and they are really awesome people. I'm excited to work with people who have the same passion that I do. :) Daddy is a wee bit nervous to be switching roles with Mommy but excited to take the kids to the zoo...every day (according to Bubba).

Our Daily Bread

Gotta get this out first! Our first home study meeting is scheduled! May 20th :)

So our auction was a GREAT success! At the advice of a friend who did the same kind of auction for her adoption, we extended the auction to be three days instead of one. The first day we raised $1800! The Husband and I were COMPLETELY floored. But by the end of day 3 though, we had raised just over

$2700!!!! We cannot express our gratitude to everyone who donated and bid and our awe at what a mighty God can do when you are obedient to His call. We have also been getting more wreath orders from people seeing them for the first time during the auction (we auctioned off 8 wreaths). We have raised enough money through the wreath fundraiser, the clutch fundraiser and the auction (as well as our personal savings) to pay these fees:

Initial Consultation Fee: $350
Application Fee: $375
Home Study Fee: $2550
Program Fee: $4400
Match Fee (when we're matched with a birthmom): We have $2600 of this $4000 fee

What's left to be delivered

With The Husband working extra hours over the summer we will be able to pay the Match Fee and a small chunk of our FINAL payment! This is the payment we need to make after within a week after bringing the baby home and it's our biggest fee. BUT, this means we only have about $6000 (or if the child is African American, $4125) plus attorney's fees and birthmother expenses to pay. This is INCREDIBLE news! I know it still sounds like a lot of money to come up with. But from where we started? With NOTHING (and I mean NOTHING) to put toward this adoption, God is providing in leaps and bounds. The funny thing is, He has been perfectly consistent in his provision financially throughout this whole thing. We have had enough to pay the current fee plus just a bit extra toward the next fee. Every. Stinking. Time. I'm attributing the little bit extra to what we've contributed from our own savings which just tells me that even if we were not able to pay for any of the adoption out of our own pocket, He would still be providing. Exactly what we need. Exactly when we need it. No more and no less.

Thanking Him for giving us our daily bread :)


Our amazing donators to the auction (many of these people or businesses donated MORE than 1 item):
Jennifer Morley
Nicole Bittermann
Jason Domingo
Erica Sandeno
Whimsey (shop in Morris)
Sara Moodie
Sue Kies
Kristina Gorsch

This is about 1/3 of what I began with!

Stacee Doyle
Jennifer's cookies
Jill Kopin
Amy Kargol
Crest Hill Animal Hospital
Minooka Animal Hospital
Caton Crossing Animal Hospital
Amy Domingo
Danielle Beck
Christie Sweeley
Cassandra Vuscko
Elyse Sanneman
Amy Manning
Jen Lennington
Jamie Adams
Stephanie Thompson
Lisa Guardiola
Courtney Hammang
Julia Bucey
Barb Pearson
Juniper + Lulu
Katie Rabenda
Jillianne Renee
Michelle Heap

Kickin' it Moses-style

I've always identified strongly with Moses. Poor Moses. The dude just did NOT want to do what God called Him to do. He gave God every excuse in his mind why he just couldn't accomplish what God was asking of him. And, let's give the guy some credit, all the excuses were legit concerns. What if I don't know what to say? What if people don't believe me (or think I've totally lost my marbles)? I stink at talking. Please don't make me go. Hey! How about this other person? They're WAY more qualified than me!

I love that I serve a God who doesn't just obliterate me when I look Him square in the eye and say, "Um, are you, like...SURE?!" My circumstance so often sways my obedience to God. At times I fear adding another child to our family (or just doing something God has asked of me, period!) because of a temporary circumstance or behavior of another one of my children. And, THANK HEAVEN God does not do this to us! Could you imagine? If God based how many kids He wanted based upon my actions...I'd be the only child He had. I can be such a stubborn person--thinking that my way is right, all the time. But I secretly like it when God gives me a kick in the butt sometimes. I just love these Mumford & Sons lyrics:

So I'll be bold
As well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart
So tame my flesh
And fix my eyes
A tethered mind free from the lies

But I'll kneel down
Wait for now
I'll kneel down
Know my ground

Raise my hands
Paint my spirit gold
And bow my head
Keep my heart slow


I'll know my ground and know my place. I'll know what God has called me to and not make excuses. Because God doesn't make mistakes. He didn't call me to something on accident. This means parenting as a whole! Letting my kids sinfulness dictate my mood or my relationship with the Almighty is laughable. But obeying brings blessing upon blessing.


"The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;
for he founded it on the seas
and established it on the waters.

Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?
Who may stand in his holy place?
The one who has clean hands and a pure heart
who does not trust in an idol
or swear by a false god.

They will receive blessing from the Lord
and vidication from God their Savior."
Psalm 24: 1-5

My Foster Care Profile

I've mentioned before that I frequently look at the profiles listed on adoptuskids.org. If there is a way that we can adopt a child out of foster care, we would love to do that. But we have a very limited opportunity to do this because we won't adopt a child older than Bubba. On adoptuskids.org, you can search the profiles of children that are currently in the foster care system and eligible for adoption. You can search by gender, race, age, etc. My search is always the same. The only information I put in is that the child must be between 0 and 3 years old.  Yesterday there were a couple of new profiles and as I read them I thought to myself, "Oh, no. We couldn't possibly adopt this child. Their needs are too great. We cannot provide for them. It would be too hard." There are scary phrases peppered throughout these profiles. "Strong-willed" "Needs discipline" "Needs a lot of one-on-one attention" "Physically delayed" "Cognitively delayed" "Needs mental health services" "Special needs" "Needs life-long care" "Needs parents who are patient" etc.

I'm so quick to pass these children up...And then I started thinking...if I was listed...what would my profile read? How scary would it be? Would ANYBODY want me? Would anyone take a chance on
me? In reality, it would probably read something like this:

"An energetic, bubbly woman who is often sweet and warm. She can, however, turn on a dime when things do not go her way. Has a potty mouth but is very good at hiding it. She requires a lot of affection, care, and attention. Very forgetful. Occasionally has anxiety and also has a thyroid disorder that requires daily medicine and occasional special check-ups. She is always quick to offer help but is terrible at following through. She is selfish and can sometimes be manipulative toward the ones she loves the most. Can be quite moody. She needs patience, consistency and lots of love. Fears the unknown and doing things out of her comfort zone. Loves to scrapbook and be creative. She is chronically unsure of herself. You must be willing to reassure her of her abilities over and over and over again. Loves the smell of good candles, snuggling and watching movies. Can you give her a forever home?"

It reminds me that a profile is not a child. A "diagnosis" may not be permanent. "Negative" aspects of our personalities don't define us. That we are bigger and more complex than who we look like on paper. That Jesus is bigger than our imperfections. That HE chose us, each one of us with the WORST "profiles" imaginable. And He still takes us, and we are WORTH choosing. And He never said, "Well, I'll die for everyone...the ones without physical deformities, the ones without terrible behavioral problems, the ones that will not need lifelong care and aid, the grateful ones." We are all of those things. Our hearts are calloused and warped. Our minds are sinful and sick. And He chooses us anyway.

And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Matthew 2:17